Oh my dear ….The back to work January blues are well and truly in swing, daylight has been relegated to work hours 9-5 only , the days are short and dark with no twinkly fairy lights to brighten me up, I have developed a cheese addiction that haunts me night and day and how the heck am I supposed to hide my post Santa belly bulge when the festive jumper is resigned to the wardrobe until December 2012?

I have an idea to petition for a good old bank holiday slap bang in the middle of January because quite frankly the first 2- 3 months of the year suck ( Tramps Toes ). The Christmas run up has parties and get together and a lot of heady anticipating, then you get Christmas itself with presents and lots of yummy French Cheese ( I will still be cursing the cheese in March ) and days upon days of lounging in PJ’s watching festive films.

What has January to offer …. ? Nothing but a never ending wait for payday and a wiggle where there should be none, roll on April .

Christmas is on the doorstep … Santa is busy preparing his sleigh and Rudolf is gearing up for some serious roof hopping. My tree is up, the decorations are hung and the house is lit up like the jolly mans grotto… so where the hell is my festive Mojo hiding?

Maybe the poor little thing is lost in the postal system and is at this very moment trapped under a mountain of undelivered Christmas cards calling out for help! One thing is sure she is not in my vicinity… I usually love Christmas, I have my tree up on the 1^st of December, I wear my Christmas T shirt at least once a  week in the run up and I can never sleep waiting for Santa to arrive… But it could be the middle of October right now for the amount of festive cheer I am feeling.

Mr Postman If you find my Christmas Mojo please point her in this direction as she is sorely missed!!  

Have you ever … had a Merry (Pre) Christmas???

Have you ever ….Lived life to excess?

I have come to the conclusion that I live my life to the excess  .. I want everything and lots of it, and the quicker I get it the better ( so I can add impatient to my longlist of  flaws) but I do sit back occasionally and ask myself is it too much?

Living my life to its capacity is something I am very proud of, I fought long and hard to be here and I will not waste it sitting around wishing for things I can just go out there and get. If I want to climb a tree I will, If I want a cake I will eat it and If I want to kiss a boy and walk away then I will just go ahead and do it.

I have to admit I can be excessive, for example I  have at the last count 11 tattoo’s and each time I complete one I start thinking about the next, I have over 40 pairs of shoes and I never have enough, if I have one biscuit I must eat the pack and I have literally just passed my driving test and I want a car ……. Yesterday. If I carry on with excess I shall end up an extremely fat, tattooed lady who is unable to fit her a car ( But I will have sexy shoes )

I have love living with the mentality of  why wait for tomorrow when you can have it today but at what point do you say enough is enough I have my pen but where do I draw the line?

Have you ever….Wished for an endless Winter?

Oh my giddy aunt its nippy out there…!

Now I usually love a bit of a chill in the air and I know that with the first frosty morning comes the joy of winter wardrobe shopping … Eeeek ( I also get to eat lots and hide the guilt under fluffy jumpers) …. but this year it is just making me feel sad and nostalgic!!

I think everyone has a point in their lives when they know it’s as good as it gets ….well this time last year has got to be by far one of the best winters in history , Me and my best friend learnt to Ice skate with me mostly using my bottom, I set off my first sky Lantern , met and kept some amazing friends, drank my body weight in hot chocolate, wrote my very first blog post and cooked my first Christmas dinner oh yes and I also fell in love with the boy of my dreams ( Not a  first but a rare enough occurrence for me) Sadly the only things that are still in my life are my beloved blog and my beautiful friends.

With so many firsts to beat I am left to ponder on how this winter will possibly compete? Maybe I could do my first snowy Skydive, pass my driving test and borrow a snow plough ,I could drive some huskies or learn to ski down the high street ? Whatever madness this winter brings I think I will probably leave my little heart at home it’s not ready for another winter just yet!!

Have you ever … spotted the Easter bunny sharing the bus with Santa?

Has anyone else noticed how Christmas and Easter seem to have merged into one long shoppers nightmare? I swear only yesterday there were chocolate bunnies, Button filled eggs and sunny afternoons then today lo and behold it is tinsel and frosty mornings!!!

Every shop I frequent has some sort of subtle push towards the festive season… slippers with snowflakes, Christmas Jumpers, tubes of sweets (that where a fraction of the cost two weeks ago) and one shop has gone all out and slapped me in the face with crackers!! Hello it’s September!!!

I am not scrooge and I love chocolate and unwrapping presents as much as the next girlie but for Pete’s sake I’m still getting use out of my summer wardrobe, how can there be nudges toward Christmas when I don’t even have my Autumn cardie out the trunk (never mind my winter coat!).

So you can call me bah humbug but I am putting on my blinkers and I refuse point blank to join the premature crowd until the woolly tights are on!

Have you ever… lived your life like an  episode of Garfield??

I am presently writing this with a fog of weary befuddlement leaking from my once passable brain .. the reason for this? A clash of the species!

There is a valid point behind the saying “  Fighting like cats and dogs” and that is that cats and dogs blatantly do not like each other … and they certainly do not like sharing a house!

Two weeks ago my little household  gained two new members and while us girlies are getting along great guns the four legged variety however are causing a bit of Mayhem To put it bluntly my life has suddenly turned into one long episode of Garfield … with Odi and  Garfield raging a war of hide and seek on each other, Garfield Hides and Odi runs around trying to find her. ….By using Roo’s room as Switzerland and my room as Odi’s temporary prison and by the sheer luck that one sleeps during the day and the other at night so far  we have managed to avoid a clash of the titans but I fear it’s all just a matter of time before the fur flies!!

I am hoping for the sake of my sanity ( and the cost of botox from my sleepless nights )by the end of this episode Garfield and Odi will have made peace, Garfield will stop pooping in the bath and Odi will stop yowling doggy prison songs down my ear all night… I live in hope!!

It seems like I have been learning to drive for an eternity with the devil sat in the passenger seat, in reality it is actually just over a year ( 7 in dog years ), with one stinky miserable fail behind me. When I say fail I mean failed by the skin of my teeth ( I only cut the other car up a teeny weenie bit ). The mini dictator marking my perfect driving style obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning!

When I actually pluck up the nerve to think of all the shoe/handbag money I have invested in a small piece of plastic ( that I will lose multiple times) I am slightly traumatised, £25.00 per lesson, 65.00 per Test, £72.00 for the theory… and so on it grows, I could have bought jimmy Choo’s with that money!!

After the pleasure of wringing out my purse on all the Lessons and tests I will then have to pay for a car, tax and insurance … oh yes and the ever inflating petrol to run my little love machine….I have to keep telling myself that the freedom I will gain from all this torture will be worth it in the end.

So I will put my hand in my pocket and pay the Devil with the L plates more of my shoe money and pray to god that Pol Pot’s brother has the day off at my upcoming test!!!

To lose a stone on the heartbreak diet stick to the following instructions;

1 Meet a boy and fall in love.

2 Trust said boy to love you back

3 Realise wishing is not enough

4 Break up

5 GET DRUNK!!!!

If you have ever had the deeply unpleasant experience of having a broken heart you will know that it does not get any easier the second time round. Everything you do, feel, see or say is a constant rubbing wound.

On a subconscious level I know that expressing how I felt was the right thing for me to do even though it brought an end to our relationship and yet I have so many moments where I wish I could take it back and just deal with it, just pick up the phone and say forget it I will fight for us I don’t care and I love you, but is love enough?Is staying with somebody who used to make you feel like the only girl alive but who now does not notice or care when they are hurting you worth it? Is the suffocating feeling of knowing that you will never be held by them again any worse than the gnawing ache in your tummy when you realise that you have given your carefully guarded fragile heart to someone who can drop it in the mud at the first stumbling block?

As I have said before I am soooo not perfect in any way and  I know my ( numerous) faults, I know when I am wrong and I am not too stubborn to say I love you, I miss you or even god forbid I am sorry. I am however stubborn enough to pick my muddy little heart back of the floor give it a rub and get on with it, I may fall in love again I may not but I have had love in my life and that’s a happy thought!!

Have you ever.. Had to stop the fight before the bell??

A  lot of my hungry hibernating bear behaviour has stemmed from the sad passing of my relaxing week in the sun followed in quick succession by the whirlwind wild arm waving, fist pumping kings of Leon Gig at the LCC – but I have found myself in a situation that calls for drastic action to be taken for the safe keeping of my sanity and the well being of those around me forced to bear witness to the claws and horns I have recently acquired.
I have come to the sad realization that my Loved one has slowly stopped fighting for us …. Distance is a big battle to overcome and I am not perfect in any way I am selfish, slightly neurotic and  a tad insecure …. But my good points far out way my bad and in the words of a beautiful woman “If you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

It takes a lot of commitment to make a relationship work when there is a 200 mile separation and a yawning age gap but I have never had a problem working hard for the things I want and love (If you follow my blog you will know that I am not the type of girlie who gives up anything without a fight).

But I am now forced to hang up my fighting gloves ( I am not throwing in the towel) ….  not because I love any less than I did before but because constantly chasing my opponent around the ring and throwing every punch gets very tiring and a tad tedious. I need to be chased I need to parry the blows feel the adrenalin – in short as a woman it’s nice to be appreciated, to know you are special and beautiful and to feel like you are worth fighting for.

I would love to Jump back in the ring but I cant  fight, chase or throw anymore punches until my opponent get off his ass and fights back … and If he doesn’t then I fought as hard as I could and I can walk away with a sad face and my head held high!